Tuesday, 8 September 2015

Connecting with God!

I do not visit a temple everyday. I do not even light incense sticks in front of the idols of god in my house. I am still not an atheist. I am in a very good space with God.

We all have different connections with God. We show our belief and love in him in so many different ways. We find God in things we do.If  I am restless, I talk to God. I blame him for giving me sorrows and when I am happy, I thank him for giving me such a wonderful moment. We are all so entangled in the complexities of our daily lives that we tend to STOP enjoying the small happy moments and we crave for the larger and bigger gains.

Last evening, while I was walking in a park, I said hello to an old man passing by and he felt so happy by just a mere greeting. I felt as if I had done a great thing. The point is, we waste the major chunk of our lives craving for happiness, and by the time we realize that happiness lies in small small things that we can do each day, its too late. Only if we realize that merely folding our hands in front of God cannot give us happiness. Connect with him. Make people happy. Laugh out loud. We have to look for moments to laugh. We do not laugh heartily these days.God has given us this life and he shows us how we should be leading this life by the way of kids and babies. Kids are carefree, but they are not insensitive. They laugh from their heart and cry too. We don't need to be perfect but we need to emulate kids. We need to follow the indications. We all long for the days that have gone by. Still we keep making the same mistakes in the present. Millions of people are born everyday. Only a bunch of them are famous, and even a smaller number is happy with their lives. Being famous is still easy but finding happiness and finding God is tough, and that should be our ultimate aim.

There is too much negativity in our lives. Oh! he said this.. that means he meant this..how mean. She is so rude... Shit! I am so bugged with this life. .....We all face such situations and do not intend to get out of it. Only some of us are able to come out of it.

I try to connect with my God. I want him to lead me to a life of happiness and satisfaction. A life without expectations. I know it is tough, but he has messengers who guide me when I feel cheated and derailed. They bring me back to track, and I feel less sorrowful and upset. We all need to find our own peace, be it in a temple, in worshiping him or in talking to him and trying to connect with him. Our ways can be varied, but our ultimate goal should be to achieve what many cannot or do not. I need to continuously remind myself that being famous is easy, being happy is difficult.  I am trying to work on it. I try to do things that make me happy. I try to learn new things and the process of learning makes me feel happy and gives me satisfaction, I believe these are the ways to reach closer to my goal, of being happy and finding my God. 

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Nanhi- an unforgettable experience


It all started with our trip to my mom’s place. We used to go to my  mom’s place every year. There was a beautiful house near the colony, which we loved. It was a khaali house and we always used to admire it and wanted to buy it some day.

In one of such visits, we thought of going closer to the house .Nishant told me that lets have a closer view as we are going to buy it. When we went closer, I tried to peep inside the house to see how it looked inside. As I peeped in, I saw a small girl, 3 or 4 yrs of age sitting on a chair in front of a table. She was such a sweet girl that I could not stop looking at her. She was adorable. As I was wondering what this little girl was doing sitting inside an empty house, I saw my maid, who had accompanied us, fainted at seeing this girl. It was then that it struck to Nishant and me that she was not a little girl but a spirit.  At this very moment, she came out of the house and stood in front of me saying- Aunty please play with me, I want to play. We did not know what to do. One thing that surprised me was that although we knew that she was a spirit, we never felt scared even when she stood in front of us. She looked so innocent and lovable. Since our maid was unconscious, we told the little girl that we would come back to play with her.
So, we left that place and went back to my mom’s house.  This incident stayed on with us and we could not get over it somehow.  Nishant and me had several rounds of discussion about buying the house. We then got to know from the neighbours that the house was said to be haunted although no one had ever seen or witnessed any strange incident around that house ever.  Even after listening about the house being haunted, we were so much in love with that house that we decided to buy it.
We once again went to check out the house and to our surprise, saw that little girl still sitting there as if waiting for us. This ghost girl never made us feel scared, rather she was adorable. When she saw us, she again came out and held my hand, requesting me to play with her. This time I played with her for a while. She was delighted. I felt the same way. I could see the expression of approval on Nishant’s face too. We then returned back home. We told our daughters that soon they were going to meet their friend. When they asked her name, I told them, her name was Nanhi.

Soon we shifted  in our new home, the home that we had so much wanted to be in. We did not want to disturb Nanhi so we decided to move on the first floor. The day we moved in, Nanhi came to us. She was very excited. She asked me if she could stay with us. She told me that she has been living alone in the ground floor and hates it, so she wanted to stay with us. We agreed without hesitation as the house was her after all and there were many rooms to accommodate all of us comfortably.So, we gave a room to Nanhi and one room to our kids. We all were happy with our house. Our life once again started running smoothly. The kids would go to school and Nanhi would stay back with me helping me here and there and entertaining me with her lovely talk.

Our life was going smooth and we all were very happy when one day when I returned home after  getting  my kids from school, I saw three pandits sitting inside my house. I rushed inside and asked them what were they doing inside my house and they told me that they had come to take away the spirit that was staying in the house. I felt very scared for Nanhi and scolded them hard and asked them to leave my house. I ran inside to look for Nanhi but Nanhi was nowhere to be found. I felt helpless- this is when I wake up from my dream feeling shocked and helpless.

Wanted to share this dream with everyone. This is a dream that I saw a few nights back and I actually saw it like a movie. I do not know from where did it come to my mind, but it came with a pleasant feeling. Even though it was a filmy dream, I loved Nanhi and the fact that I am so scared of ghosts, still I did not get scared of Nanhi, made me feel really nice. I do not know if this dream is way too dramatic, the fact that it left a strange feeling in me, a feeling where I really wanted to protect Nanhi and the feeling that somewhere Nanhi had not been able to live her childhood and was trying to do so by living with us and playing with us, hit me hard and has still not left me. I have loved every bit of my dream and wanted to pen it down. Hope my readers like it too.  

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Childhood the best time of life...

Yesterday when my kids were fighting over some trivial issue, it took me back several years when me and my sister used to fight for similar issues. Be it tying of the mosquito net or sharing the bed. It all sounds so funny today and I cannot stop smiling when I remember those days when we sisters and brothers used to argue and fight and used to make our mother's life hell. Arguing in front of dad was out of question as we wouldnt dare do so. Dad was the strict one and mom was the liberal one. Mom would very nicely keep our secrets and would give us the liberty to visit our friend's place and go for school picnics which dad never liked. He wanted all his kids to be back home before sunset.

When I sit back and remember the life which we lived, I feel mom's liberty and dad's strictness were just the right mix which has made us the kind of people we are today. When we are young, we never realise what our parents do for us. Back then, we used to feel that we are living in some kind of a jail where we are not allowed to stay back at our friend's place. When our other friends would go for a trip, we would stay back at home. That was the kind of security that my parents felt was right to give to their kids. It was frustrating at that time but today I feel dad would compensate for that by taking us on a family trip every now and then. Gradually as we grow up, we realise that each parent has a way of bringing up their kids. No one can judge them as there is no set format of bringing up kids.

Today we as parents sometimes wonder what is the right way to bring up our kids. We keep contemplating whether we are going the right way or not. When our kids reply back or shout back at us at such a young age, we do feel that when we were young we never would dare do such a thing to our parents, but things are very different today. Kids today are far too smart than we were at their age.

Still I miss those days when we were young. When I see the kids around me I feel we were far too innocent than kids are today. It is good that they are smarter and sharper but they are missing the innocence that we as kids used to have. The exposure that they get today, steals away the innocence from them. Here I feel the term 'ignorance is bliss' fits in best. We should be ignorant of many things as kids so that our innocence is intact with us for the longest time. What kids see, hear and talk today, is something they would as it is do when they would grow up. Childhood should be reserved for innocence and naughtiness. What the grown up kids are absorbing today is uncalled for. We as parents can try to restrict some of the wrong exposure but for how long and to what extent? I as a parent am literally scared for my kids that in their growing up age, they should be exposed to the right things and should learn things at the right age. But we cannot control everything. So I leave it to time. Worrying is not the solution and hence we as parents will try and give as much guidance as is possible and would be supportive to our kids in each and every step they take.

 One thing that I admire most about my mum was the way she had maintained a relation of a friend with all her kids. I too want to have such a relation with my kids where they feel free to express their feelings with me and share their secrets with me.
Being a parent is so much tough and being a child is so much easy. Alas! this realization has come only when the transition from a child to a parent has taken place in me. I do feel for my parents today and empathise with them for the trouble they have taken to bring up their kids but that phase has already passed.

This is a shade of life, yet life is so beautiful that it shows us so many shades of emotions in just one life. Such realisations make the bondings of relationships stronger and dearer. I love you mom and dad for exposing me to thegood things and acting as a shield from the bad things of life. I would have never realised that life is so tough had I always been under your lovely protection. Oh! how I wish time would have stopped then and there and I would have remained a child always, forgiven time and again for the small mistakes I would make as a child. I really miss those days.