Connecting with God!

I do not visit a temple everyday. I do not even light incense sticks in front of the idols of god in my house. I am still not an atheist. I am in a very good space with God.

We all have different connections with God. We show our belief and love in him in so many different ways. We find God in things we do.If  I am restless, I talk to God. I blame him for giving me sorrows and when I am happy, I thank him for giving me such a wonderful moment. We are all so entangled in the complexities of our daily lives that we tend to STOP enjoying the small happy moments and we crave for the larger and bigger gains.

Last evening, while I was walking in a park, I said hello to an old man passing by and he felt so happy by just a mere greeting. I felt as if I had done a great thing. The point is, we waste the major chunk of our lives craving for happiness, and by the time we realize that happiness lies in small small things that we can do each day, its too late. Only if we realize that merely folding our hands in front of God cannot give us happiness. Connect with him. Make people happy. Laugh out loud. We have to look for moments to laugh. We do not laugh heartily these days.God has given us this life and he shows us how we should be leading this life by the way of kids and babies. Kids are carefree, but they are not insensitive. They laugh from their heart and cry too. We don't need to be perfect but we need to emulate kids. We need to follow the indications. We all long for the days that have gone by. Still we keep making the same mistakes in the present. Millions of people are born everyday. Only a bunch of them are famous, and even a smaller number is happy with their lives. Being famous is still easy but finding happiness and finding God is tough, and that should be our ultimate aim.

There is too much negativity in our lives. Oh! he said this.. that means he meant this..how mean. She is so rude... Shit! I am so bugged with this life. .....We all face such situations and do not intend to get out of it. Only some of us are able to come out of it.

I try to connect with my God. I want him to lead me to a life of happiness and satisfaction. A life without expectations. I know it is tough, but he has messengers who guide me when I feel cheated and derailed. They bring me back to track, and I feel less sorrowful and upset. We all need to find our own peace, be it in a temple, in worshiping him or in talking to him and trying to connect with him. Our ways can be varied, but our ultimate goal should be to achieve what many cannot or do not. I need to continuously remind myself that being famous is easy, being happy is difficult.  I am trying to work on it. I try to do things that make me happy. I try to learn new things and the process of learning makes me feel happy and gives me satisfaction, I believe these are the ways to reach closer to my goal, of being happy and finding my God. 

Doors of our minds

We believe that God created us and then we invented and discovered so many things and progressed in the process. We are still learning and still figuring out things. It seems as God has made a huge jigsaw puzzle and spread its pieces in the whole world. Our task as humans is to keep looking for the pieces and put it together waiting for that one day when maybe the puzzle will be complete. In the rush to complete the puzzle fast, we have left back many such virtues that made us human and humane. Life is not only about proving oneself, it is more about living life and enjoying every bit of it.

If you see a child of two- four years, all they know is to have fun, to smile, to love, to question and to cry. Maybe God created us like that- full of emotions and without inhibitions. We as grown ups, thought our species to be "the intelligent lot" and goofed up all the innocence and ignorance that we were born with. We started teaching our babies to be "smart" and in the process, we became manipulative. We never try to observe them when they express different emotions. We sometimes overlook it and sometimes  just take it as a normal behaviour.  Although being a mother, I am sometimes unable to patiently keep answering the never ending questions of my little ones. I do get irritated because at there are other things running in my mind.

All in all life has become quite complicated. Sometimes I wish we were not so intelligent but only ignorant. Someone has rightly said- "ignorance is bliss". Why the rush to gather all the pieces of the puzzle. We should sometimes let our hair down and relax. It does not mean lying down on your bed or going for a vacation on some exotic location. We should let our mind relax. Our minds are full of thoughts. God has created an invisible door of our minds. We need to search for it and just like we close the doors of our bedrooms or our cabins so that no one comes in and disturbs us, similarly,  we should close the doors of our minds for a while and let it feel relaxed. I am not talking about meditation. For me jotting down my feelings in the form of this blog is a kind of relaxation. For some, just chit chatting with their partner could be relaxing. We just need to shut the doors of our minds from the unwanted thoughts and think of something that makes us happy. My hubby feels so relaxed and happy just watching our little ones sleep peacefully. That has a Spa effect on him.

All you need to do is to look inside and find one such mode of relaxation and do it whenever you are too disturbed. This closing of our mind's door is just a way to go back to our childhood when we had no concerns or duties, we only knew how to give love and that too unconditional love. I so much wish we all shrug the negative vibes around us at least for a while,  shake ourselves up and become kids once again.

 If we can find that invisible door of our mind, maybe someday we are successful in closing it PERMANENTLY.

The Fear of Loss

Yesterday was a big day for us as my elder daughter finally got through one of the best schools of Delhi. We are really happy as our constant follow ups really helped us get this admission.

After we had an interaction session with the school principal, suddenly my voice started choking. At first it was with happiness and by the end of the day, I realized it was not a momentary thing but It was actually the attack of cold and it had completely taken m y voice away by the evening. Suddenly I was straining my vocal chord to be able to talk and be heard.

It was then that a thought crossed my mind that how difficult it must be for someone to express oneself without her voice. Me being a talkative person, not being able to talk just for one day is like a big punishment. This fear of losing is so great that it gets on you. A few days back, I was reading 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and he talks about the fear of death. He says if we overcome it, we can enjoy life. I am not scared of death. It is something about which I do not know still. But what I fear more is the fear of loss. Fear of what you have today and might not have tomorrow. I feel it is a bigger fear than death. Living with the loss is painful. We all loose something or someone in our process of living. God has been grateful to us by giving us the power to forget. We fear loss but with time we tend to forget it and move on. If to forget was not our nature, we would have lost our mental balances. So, the best way to tackle the loss that we have in our lives is to forget. Forget and if possible forgive. Forgive your boss for not giving you an increment, forgive your best friend for betraying you and running away with you love, forget your pain and agony and try to move ahead in life.

All this I have somewhere tried to implement in my life and have definitely moved ahead in life; although I still enjoy cursing my $%^&&^* boss for trying to ruin my promotion, still there are bigger things that I fear. I still do not have an answer to many such losses with which although we learn to live but never forget that loss. Do we forgive God for those losses or do we mere wonder why did he give us something which was a natural part of our body or our lives and take it away just like that? Or do we request him to give us more strength to forget the bigger losses more quickly and start afresh as if the past was never a part of us. I still wonder!