The Fear of Loss

Yesterday was a big day for us as my elder daughter finally got through one of the best schools of Delhi. We are really happy as our constant follow ups really helped us get this admission.

After we had an interaction session with the school principal, suddenly my voice started choking. At first it was with happiness and by the end of the day, I realized it was not a momentary thing but It was actually the attack of cold and it had completely taken m y voice away by the evening. Suddenly I was straining my vocal chord to be able to talk and be heard.

It was then that a thought crossed my mind that how difficult it must be for someone to express oneself without her voice. Me being a talkative person, not being able to talk just for one day is like a big punishment. This fear of losing is so great that it gets on you. A few days back, I was reading 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and he talks about the fear of death. He says if we overcome it, we can enjoy life. I am not scared of death. It is something about which I do not know still. But what I fear more is the fear of loss. Fear of what you have today and might not have tomorrow. I feel it is a bigger fear than death. Living with the loss is painful. We all loose something or someone in our process of living. God has been grateful to us by giving us the power to forget. We fear loss but with time we tend to forget it and move on. If to forget was not our nature, we would have lost our mental balances. So, the best way to tackle the loss that we have in our lives is to forget. Forget and if possible forgive. Forgive your boss for not giving you an increment, forgive your best friend for betraying you and running away with you love, forget your pain and agony and try to move ahead in life.

All this I have somewhere tried to implement in my life and have definitely moved ahead in life; although I still enjoy cursing my $%^&&^* boss for trying to ruin my promotion, still there are bigger things that I fear. I still do not have an answer to many such losses with which although we learn to live but never forget that loss. Do we forgive God for those losses or do we mere wonder why did he give us something which was a natural part of our body or our lives and take it away just like that? Or do we request him to give us more strength to forget the bigger losses more quickly and start afresh as if the past was never a part of us. I still wonder!